Blended Families - 6 Important Tips for Step-Parents

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• Ashlee Jean
• Wednesday 01 April 2020, 11:00-12:00
• Venue to be confirmed.

If you have a question about this talk, please contact Ashlee Jean.

In modern times, blended families have become a common family unit in different communities. It is quite a common and accepted practice in a society. Blended Families are redefining togetherness in different ways. But sometimes, it can be quite difficult to survive within a blended family as complex situations may arise.

If your remarriage and common law-partnership involve children from your previous marriage, then blending families may require some adjustments. The guidelines shared in this article would help you bond with your stepchildren and effectively deal with common blended family issues. Our experts share tips on helping you create a healthy dynamic within your blended family that includes satisfied and happy stepparents and siblings.

What is a Blended Family?

A blended family is a housing unit that forms when people make a life together with children from their previous relationships. The entire process of creating a new family can be quite rewarding yet very complicated. As a parent, you might be approaching the remarriage with joy and expectation, but this might not be the case with your children or a new spouse. The uncertainty about the upcoming challenges can affect their relationship with you. That said, they might also be concerned about having to live with new siblings and find it hard to get along with them.

It is natural for some children to resist changes, and as a parent, you might get frustrated when your new blended family doesn’t function similar to your previous one. If you try to make your blended family a replica of your previous family, then you set your family members up for plenty of confusion and frustration. Blending families has never been easy, but with the tips shared in this article, you can make it a smooth transition. It is important to embrace the differences and consider being civil as you resolve the matters.

Regardless of how hopeless your condition may be, there is nothing that can’t be resolved with open communication, mutual respect and boundless love. Patience plays a vital role in this complex situation. You can work on developing a healthier dynamic and consider some basic elements to develop a close bond with your new family members.

Tip 1 – Plan your blended family

If you have survived a painful divorce, or lost a loved one and then managed to find a new affectionate relationship, it can be quite easy to fall into the temptation of rushing into marriage without planning to lay a solid foundation of your new blended family. You have to realise that too many changes brought forward at once can disrupt your family members. It can easily overwhelm and unsettle your children, making them lose their focus on other important aspects of their lives, such as studying. Statistics suggest that modern-day blended families have a high success rate if the pair waits two years before they remarry, instead of merging one momentous family change onto another.

Tip 2 – Take your time

You cannot expect yourself to fall in love with your spouse’s children overnight. You can get to know them and realise that bonding is a slow process. It requires time and patience from both ends, considering it is obvious that affection and attachment take time to develop. You can find different ways to experience real-life together as a family. If you take your step-children out to a theme park every other week, it can be loads of fun, but it isn’t reflective of day-to-day life. Instead, you can try to bond with your children and partner in daily life situations.

Tip 3 – Decide a parenting style to adopt

Together with your partner, you can decide and plan the parenting style you would like to adopt. You must take your partner in the agreement of the way you want to raise your blended family. Followed by that, you must make the necessary arrangements and adjustments to the parenting methodologies before you decide to remarry. Another important thing to recollect is to not allow any ultimatums before your children. They must never be put in a position where they have to choose between the parental figures in their life. You will need to remind them that it is important for you to have both sets of people in your life.

Tip 4 – Curtail your expectations

You might notice yourself giving ample love and affection to your step-family without receiving the same level of care and attention in return. In such situations, don’t let yourself get disheartened by having high expectations. Instead, you can limit your expectations and think of your gestures as an investment that may yield positive results for in the future. Your step-children will take their time to develop a soft corner for you in their hearts, and eventually it would all be worth the wait.

Tip 5 – Bond with your blended family

You might think it is easier said than done. If you want to increase your chances of happily bonding with your new family, then you must start by thinking about what they need. Regardless of their age, gender and personality, all children have some fundamental needs that must be taken care of. For instance, when it comes to safety and security, you must assure them to take care of it. They must be able to rely on you without any fear and grievances. If you have any university going step-children that want college coursework help, then you can assist them.

Tip 6 – Use routines and rituals to connect

You must create healthy and fun family routines and rituals to allow your new blended family to bond with each other. Plan and execute at least one family ritual. For example, you can get together every Sunday and visit the nearby beach or stay home to watch the weekly game night. Call everyone out for regular family dinners and offer them a chance to talk and bond with one another. That way, you encourage healthy and open communication.

Lastly, the most comforting idea to ponder over is this: A blended family is a family and should be treated as such. If you live in a joint or blended family, these tips would surely help you live a happy life!

This talk is part of the Blog series.

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